What Women Really Want For Mother's Day

That time I got an in-home blowout (with the AMAZING Marilynne Mele) and my daughter decided
she needed to be in my lap right that second.

This week, a friend's Facebook status stopped me in my tracks. "All I want for Mother's Day," she wrote, "is not to be a mother for a few hours." For a second, I was horrified. Until I realized: I felt exactly the same way. 

Now, of course, I (and, I'm quite sure, she) would never actually give up being a mother for even one second. I love my kids more than anything in the world and can't imagine not being a mom. 

But that doesn't mean it wouldn't be nice to sleep in until the luxurious hour of 6 a.m. sometimes. 

Or have a day that doesn't involve cleaning someone else's poop. Or maybe even be able to do this cool thing I vaguely remember from my 20s. I think it was called "taking a nap?"

That's why, dads of the world, this Mother's Day, I'd propose forgoing the typical Mother's Day presents. We don't need breakfast in bed (the crumbs!). We don't need flowers (unless you can find a shelf high enough to keep them out of somebody's reach). We don't need a new bag (it's just going to get Cheerio dust in it anyway). 

Instead, kick us out of the house. Seriously. Charge up the iPad, pack up the diaper bag (yourself, please), take the kids for a few hours, and leave your wife. Alone. (And, um, temporarily...!) Go. And let her take the day off from being a mother. 

Maybe she'll go shopping! Maybe she'll watch a Real Housewives marathon! Maybe she'll read a book (without pictures)! Maybe she'll see a movie (without princesses, cars, or animals)! Maybe she'll pee...with the door closed!

The possibilities are endless.

And then later, when she comes home, you'll be the hero. The kids will seem sweeter and even more snuggly and delicious. And I bet she'll feel happier, more rested, and a little more "her."  Until, of course, it's time to wipe someone's butt.

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If you're a mom, have a happy mother's day this weekend! I'll be spending the day having brunch with my husband, kids, and friends. And then--woo hoo!--our husbands are taking the kids, and my friend Amy and I will be going off to see a grown-up movie all by ourselves. Doesn't that sound glorious?

P.S.: This Mother's Day post by Ilana also made me laugh!