How to Trick Your Kid (a.k.a. Our Genius Parenting Hack)

How Einstein does it

My daughter eats pancakes for breakfast 95 percent of the time. And like anything with most four year olds, she has developed some, shall we say preferences when it comes to her breakfast. There must be exactly five (mini) pancakes on the plate; the pancakes must be either homemade or, if frozen, from Eggo or Aunt Jemima (sadly, none of the frozen organic brands will fly with her); there must be two slices of CHEWY bacon sitting next to them (god help you if you make it "too crispy"); the plate must be divided into sections and bear some sort of princess on it; and the syrup must be Mrs. Butterworth's. Deviate from any of these requirements at your own risk. She will call you on it. And by call you on it, I mean throw a tantrum.

To keep the peace, buying pancakes and their various accoutrements sometimes feels like my second job. I am often stopping off at the store on my way home from work simply to pick up a pack of bacon or a box of frozen pancakes to make sure we're fully stocked for the following morning. Earlier this week, I noticed we were running low on syrup, so I popped into the grocery store and bought a bottle.

My husband looked in the pantry a few nights later and happened to notice the brand new bottle sitting there. The brand new bottle of...AUNT JEMIMA. Call it "mom brain," call it being busy--I had absentmindedly bought the wrong brand. I do not, and never have, eaten syrup, so I tried to convince us that it wasn't a big deal. But we both instantly knew: Shit was going to down the next morning.

That's when we came up with our genius evil plan: We would pour the full bottle of Aunt Jemima into the empty bottle of Mrs. Butterworth's. Then we would pray. 

The next morning, with trembling hands, I presented the trick bottle, poured, and waited. She dipped her pancake into the decoy syrup, took a bite, and continued on her way with her breakfast-eating and iPad-watching.

Sucker.

p.s. - S., I love you and do not think you are a sucker. But I do think you need to quit the HFCS syrup habit. Watch out, girl: I'm pouring organic maple sugar into that Butterworth's bottle next.