How to Take a Bad Family Holiday Card Photo

Yes, I know he's picking his nose. (Photo by Jennifer Casson, who is an AMAZING photographer. This shoot was 100% my kids' fault--not hers!)

On a beautiful Saturday morning back in early October, we got our kids all dressed up, I got a blowout (natch), and a wonderful local photographer came over to our house. We were going to take a family photo for our holiday card, plus get a few more great shots of the kids and family to blow up and frame.

Well, that was the plan.

The reality? It was a total shitshow.

My daughter, who usually loves having her photo taken, was NOT. HAVING. IT. First, she wouldn't pose for any photos. Next, she would only take photos with Daddy. Then, when she finally agreed that everyone else could be in the shot, she would only smile in a overzealous way that can perhaps best be described as "scary clown from American Horror Story: Freak Show." 

I tried every trick in the book: reason, bribery, threats, fake-calling Santa on my phone. Nothing worked. Eventually my son started to lose it, too. 

After about 20 futile minutes, we told the photographer to just forget it. I used the extra time to pose for these shots (not gonna waste that blowout!), and then sent the photog on her way.

We got exactly ZERO useable family pictures. The shot above (yes, the one that's awesome save for that small issue of my son picking a winner) is BY FAR the best one. In fact, it's so far and above anything else we got that I actually came very close to using it as our card. (My brother told me I was crazy if I didn't. "It's the only card people will get and actually remember!" he said.) I thought about it. A lot. But in the end, I decided that my son might be mad one day if I were to send out 50 images of him with his finger up his nose.

But before you start thinking that that empathy makes me a great mom: 1) Here I am sharing it on the blog for, oh, a few more than 50 people. ;) And, 2) Truthfully, a big reason I didn't use it is because I couldn't think of a funny, pun-y saying to go on the cards. (The only way I was using the nose-pick pic was if people knew I knew there was a nose-pick in it!!) There's a prize to anyone who can think of the funniest phrase that I could've used. (Leave it in the comments below!)

I'll be back later this week with the image--and card--that we ended up going with. Stay tuned!