Teaching My Daughter To Love Her Hair

Photos by Raquel Langworthy, owner of Raquel Bianca Creative (She does lifestyle-focused family photography in New Jersey and she's amazing!)

As the mother of a six-year-old daughter, I worry about her self-esteem. She has a lot of it right now, which is a good thing. She loves her wavy/curly hair, she loves her full lips, she feels beautiful. She is beautiful. But because she is a girl--and because I'm one, too--I know there is likely a point coming down the road when she will look in the mirror and see herself differently. She may not see the beauty that I see now and that I will always see. 

And I know that I play an outsize role in making sure she continues to love her appearance. In fact, a recent Dove study found that positive role models can significantly affect a young girl's confidence, and that 82 percent of daughters learn to care about themselves from their mother. So, I'm on it!

And, like many other things, it starts with hair. This is a particularly fraught issue for me as I've had a true love-hate relationship with my own hair for as long as I can remember. Like my daughter, my hair is curly/wavy, but unlike my daughter--who has soft, perfectly-formed curls--my hair is also really frizzy. So if I'm being honest, I don't love--or even like--it in its natural state. I have long preferred my hair blown out, smooth and straight. 

But I am determined that my daughter will love her own hair. I tell her all the time how beautiful it is, and I always want her curls to look even curlier. When we get her hair cut, we ask the stylist to trim it with layers that encourage the curls, and when I blowdry her hair, I twist it in a way that coaxes those curls out. Sometimes she wears it straight, too, but in those moments, I'm very careful with the language I use to describe her hair. Her straight hair isn't better, it isn't more polished, it isn't prettier. Straight is an option, not the ideal. 

And I'm working on me, too. I may not be ready to wear my hair completely natural yet, but I've been experimenting with some curlier and wavier styles. (And I've been loving them!) And I never complain about my hair in front of her. I'm learning to love my hair, because I love my girl.

Because this issue is so close to my heart (and head!), I've partnered with Dove on their mission to help moms inspire hair confidence in their girls and teach them to love their hair. If you're a mom, you can start by creating an adorable custom #LoveYourHair animated message right here and then sharing it on social media. (That's mine above. They're cute, right?) Then, tell your daughter how beautiful her hair is. And keep on telling her. 

Because she's listening.

This post was sponsored by Dove.